Over the past few months I have had quite a few people express their assumption that Fiance and I will be leaving Hawaii once we have the wedding. Some even seem to assume we’ll be packing our bags the next day.

Fiance and I have been living in Hawaii for three years. We don’t plan to stay in Hawaii forever. We see our future on the west coast and will probably move there when the economy picks up a bit and when we feel good and ready. But not too many people know this. And most of the people who seem to assume we’ll jump ship immediately are not ones I confide in.

What gives?

We certainly didn’t move to Hawaii just to get married here.

I’ve also had a few people that want to assume that I’ll stop working, or make a major life changes after the wedding. I want to shake them and say “I will still be the same person when I am Fiance’s wife. I will still have career aspirations and still do the things I enjoy. I will simply have one more ring on my finger, a new last name, and a legal life partner. I will still live in Hawaii!”

Whew, thanks for letting me get that out…

As much as we hadn’t totally settled this issue, we went to Nordstom this weekend to have him fitted for a suit so we could start shopping for one if we decided he should wear one (I like to plan ahead). An extremely knowledgable Nordstom associate helped us. The conversation went like this…

Me: I thought he would wear a suit but I don’t want him to get too sweaty.

Fiance: I get sweaty.

Nordstrom: (to me) Have you found your dress?

Me: No.

Nordstrom: Well, do you think it might have a train?

Me: Yes, a little one.

Nordstrom: He needs to wear a suit.

Me: Really?

Nordstrom: Yes.

Nordstrom: (to Fiance) She’s going to be so beautiful and you’re going to feel ridiculous if you’re not wearing a suit. You need to wear a suit.

And how do you argue with that logic? Of course, he totally encouraged Fiance to ditch the coat once pictures and the ceremony are over.

In related news, Nordstrom insisted that our dads, the officiants, also wear suits. I had pictured them in Tori Richards style aloha shirts. But he insists suits are the way to go. Any thoughts on this? Do I dare go against Nordstrom?

Our dads are going to officiate our ceremony.

It warms my heart even to type it.

We had always thought we’d have a friend officiate. We’re not particularly religious, we don’t attend a church, and it was important to use that the person making us legal knew us well. We had considered many friends and I had even once suggested to Fiance that his dad do it. But ultimately it was my mom’s suggestion. She suggested the two dads officiate as a symbol of two families coming together. Swoon… I ate it up like ice cream… So our dads will do it.

Our parents met for the first time this past weekend over Thanksgiving. They hit it off amazingly. It’s great to know our kids will grow up with grandparents who are friends with each other.

One of the memories I hope to hold onto for the rest of my life is sitting in a living room with Fiance, my dad, and his dad, and talking through the details of our wedding ceremony. They listened intently, asked thoughtful questions, and provided amazing advice.

I am so thrilled the two of them will usher us into our marriage.

Come Wedding Day, we will be eating an icredibly yummy three layer cake. The big tier will be lilikoi. Yummm… The middle tier will be strawberry. So summery! And here’s where I could use your help. What should the top tier be?

1. Lemon Curd. It was tasty, tasty but Fiance doesn’t really like lemon cakes (even though he admitted this one was good).

2. Chocolate! Who doesn’t love chocolate cake (but the chocolate wasn’t even close to as good as the fruit flavors)?

3. Lilikoi. Because it was just that damn good and it’s our wedding and we should have our favorite!

I’ll accept all votes.

Oh, and it will look a lot like this. Pretty, no?

Yup. Money.

See here, I made a mistake. The only mistake I think I’ve really made in this whole wedding planning process. I built my budget around what I thought things probably cost. Sure, I asked a few folks. Sure, I looked at the silly percentage breakdowns the Knot provides. But I didn’t really research with any actual vendors when I decided what I was willing to pay.

The consequence for such a mistake? Frustrating moments that result in me on the phone with the DJ thinking “what the hell, you’re double my budget?!” and walking out of the videographer’s office today trying to rationalize spending $150 more on an item I never had at the top of my priority list.

I’m wiling to face the facts that I made a mistake. And I’m a realist. So as I sit here typing, I’ve decided to pay the $100 over my budget for the wedding cake. Because it’s a WEDDING CAKE, it tastes superb, and I really, really like the woman who is making it. I’m also going to swallow my pride and realize that flowers cost more than I thought they would. Even if we decide to DIY all the centerpieces, we’re still going to come in exactly where I budgeted.

As far as booking all these vendors by the end of November? Not. Gonna. Happen. No way. I think I’ll book the cake today beause I really do love her, and her cake that much. Other than that, I’m going to sit her and obsess a little bit more. I might even open my excel chart again and squint my eyes – trying to figure out how to make the numbers add up to less.

And one did!

This lovely Sue Wong is a stunning dress and very wedding-y.

What do you think? Could this be my dress?

It’s actually so much more stunning on, and comes in a lovely oyster color. This may be “the one” but I’m still letting myself shop around.

A friend of mine just announced her engagement. I am happy for her, truly happy. She deserves love in her life, happiness, and this wonderful man.

Even still, I can’t help feeling a little bummed by the news. I’ve spent all morning trying to figure out why it makes me a little sad and I’ve only come up with two things. 1: As much as I’m not outspoken about my wedding (hello, anonymous here), I liked being uniquely special in my engagement. 2: Our relationships with our fiances are very different. Mine relationship has been almost 6 years, her’s less than two.

As I type this I’m laughing at myself. “Uniquely special in my engagement?” Hello, there are weddings happening every minute of the day! I read about them constantly on blogs and in magazines. Different relationships? Isn’t that what makes the world go round?

Anyway, I wanted to share this and throw it out there in case anyone else has ever felt the same way.

Without further ado, I present one of my current crushes, Miss Miranda by the ever-so-talented Monique Lhuillier.

Flash back a few weeks and I was dress shopping with my mom. Tons of fun and pretty glamorous. Then we’d go home, she’d make dinner for all of us and I would obsess on the computer looking up images of dresses I’d tried on, trying to find them cheaper online, and flip-flopping as to what I thought I wanted. I thought about it non-stop. And frankly, I needed to stop.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still dress shopping. I don’t think I’ve yet found THE ONE – although maybe, I have one I can’t keep thinking about… more on that later.

But you want to hear a story? A funny story?

So I live in Hawaii, right? Right. And as you might imagine, Hawaii is not a mega wedding dress market. We have some dress shops, some are lovely, and I have found gorgeous dresses. But after three days of shopping, I pretty much exhausted my options. Save for one place…

It all started with a phone call. I had come across a full page ad in a wedding magazine for a dress store but it had no address, just a phone number. I made the call and spoke to a seemingly particular woman who explained she used to have a store, but it had flooding issues and now she keeps her gowns in her home. Yes, her home. You don’t know me very well so I need to explain to you that I’m a bit of an adventurer. I LOVE crazy experiences that result in crazy stories to tell. And that is mostly the reason that I suckered a friend into going with me to this woman’s home to shop for my wedding dress.

First we spent an hour flipping through HUGE catalogs in the basement with the woman and her adorable elderly husband. Once I had marked all of my favorite dresses, they told me that didn’t have any of them in stock. She wanted me to order straight from the catalog. No thank you. I calmly explained I wasn’t going to buy the dress of my life without first trying it on.

Eventually adorable elderly husband pulled a bunch of their in-stock dresses. I found myself standing in a the small childhood bedroom of their now-adult son in my strapless bra and underwear. Completely surrounded by stuffed animals and my patient friend, I could help but giggle. How do I get myself into these situations?!