Ever since we got engaged I have had wise friends tell me “oh, enjoy the engagement, don’t rush into planning.” I hear them say this and I think “yes, that is what we will do, that will be delightful.” And yet, that is very, very hard to do.
At first it was hard to explain to people that we hadn’t made any decisions. Hard to make them understand that planning a wedding is not like making a dinner reservation. You don’t simply choose a date, and place and phone it all in. Now we’re more than six weeks in and I feel comfortable saying “oh we’re still trying to find the perfect place and will set the date then.” Of course, that’s exactly what we’re doing.
I plan to find the ideal locale, to determine we can afford it, to choose a date, and to roll onto the other details.
Here’s the rub…
My ideal timing is less than a year from now. I envision an early May wedding. Why? No reason except that it sounds nice and is practical. May is a nice time of year in Hawaii. It’s comfortably out of the more serious rain season. It’s before the major tourism season. It’s not too close to any holidays or major travel times that might limit our guests’ attendance.
But there’s more…
I’m involved in a competitive sport here. The season runs May through September. And we work very, very hard. So hard that I get fairly muscular and wide which is an adjustment for me since I’ve always been rather slim and petite. While I’m willing to skip part of the competitive season, (Hello, I do have my priorities straight – wedding to launch the rest of my life versus a few competitions) I don’t want to be all beefed out in my wedding pictures. It takes time to lose muscle, you know.
Anyhow, May = Ideal. But is that enough time to really enjoy the engagement? That will be roughly one year since our engagement. And less than 11 months from now. Is that too short? I only get to be engaged once. I really want to experience it completely. Also, can I plan a wedding in 11 months? What if I don’t find a dress I like? Or people don’t have enough time to make travel arrangements?
But you’re tracking with me right? If not May then it has to be OCTOBER OR LATER. Is that too late? That will be 18 months since our engagement. Plus, it’s October. Could be hotter here, more muggy. Less May-like.
And then it goes on from there… If not May, and not October, then we’re into February 2010. I love the idea of a wedding in 2010. Seems glamorous and exciting. But then we’re pushing two years of engagement. And let’s not kid ourselves, we’re on the fast track to old. 2010 would put us in our solid mid-30’s.
If any of you in cyberspace are reading this, I could certainly use your advice. When to wed?